An Epic Sorting
by almost-alice5
Summary: When Death Note/Ouran characters get sorted at Hogwarts...interesting things happen...T for language. MINOR HINTS OF YAOI!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I got really bored today and decided to write a one shot…MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *lafz evilly like Light* I wrote it in script form, sorry.

Professor McGonagall: Next up…L LAWLIET

Light: (*thinking*) yes! I've finally done it! I've discoverer L's real name!! Now to write it in my Death Note and finally be rid of him!!! *reaches into bag for death note* Hmm? WHAT?! WHERE IS IT??!! NO!!

Sorting Hat:…yes…very smart. Also super sexy with millions of fangirls, yes?

L: :3

SH: Yes, well then, RAVENCLAW!!!!

L: *goes over to Ravenclaw table*

McGonagall: Next…KYOYA OOTORI!

Kyoya: *sits on stool with sorting hat on head and Light's death note in his hand*

Light: THAT PUNK HAS MY DEATH NOTE!!!!

*akward silence*

L: *eating cake* So…you admit to being Kira?

Light: I didn't-

Snape: SILENCE!

*silence*

SH: wow. you…you…SLYTHERIN!!!!!

Light: Give me back my Death Note!!

Kyoya: what will you do for it? *winks suggestively*

Light: …

McGonagall: LIGHT IM-A-GAY…I MEAN YAGAMI!!!!!!

Light: FYI I now consider you a criminal…

SH: Hmm…wow. Dude, you're crazy. I'll tell you what house you belong in! THE CRAZY HOUSE!!! …but if not, SLYTHERIN!!!!!

Light: diediediediediediedie

McGonagall: TAMAKI SHOUH

Tamaki: *skipping slightly* HELLO!

SH: you're a chipper one aren't you?

Tamaki: :DDDDD

SH: er…GRYFFINDOR!!!!!

McGonagall: MAIL JEEVAS!!

*INSANE LAFTER*

Matt: (*dammit. Why couldn't she have just said Matt?*) Yo. Sup? *pulls out gameboy* DAMMIT! WHY THE HELL DOESN'T MY GAMEBOY WORK!!!!???

Hermione: It's because muggle devices don't work around Hogwarts due to all the magic

Matt: Please die.

Mello: *shoots Hermione* Your welcome dear

*INSANE CHEERING*

Dumbledore: Finally! We are rid of the know-it-all! Ah, I mean…move her body over there! We'll hide it later…

SH: Well…Matt is it? Hmm…HOFFLEPOFF!!!

Matt: You mean HUFFLEPUFF?

SH: Noo! HOFFLEPOFF!!!

Matt: kk…

McGonagall: Mihael Keehl!!!!!!

Mello: It's Mello you--…

SH: …GRYYY…FFF…HUUFF…SLLYY…GR…HU…SLY…GRYFFINDOR!!!

Mello: Matt?! NOOO!! Matt!!

Matt: It's ok Mello! We'll still see each other!!

Mello: b-b-but!!

Hitachiin twins: Hey! That's our act!!

Near: there's a 70% chance it's NOT an act…

Mello: SHUDDUP YOU LITTLE TWIT!!

Near: …*playzwithtoyz*

Mcgonagall: Next…NATE RIVER!!!

Light: (*I know all their names but I cant do anything about it because of that idiot kyoya!!!*)

SH: Nate…Nate…Nate…Near? Ok…Near…Near…RAVENCLAW!!!!!

L: Hello Near.

Near: *action figure-like noises* I GOT A ACTION FIGURE!! LALALALA!!!

L: Watari made the mistake of giving you coffee again didn't he?

Near: TEE-HEE

Mcgonagall: TAKASHI MORINOZUKA!!!!

SH: haha! That's a funny name!

Mori: Yea.

SH: ok…GRYFFINDOR!

Mori: Yea.

Honey: *in the same house* Mori! Do you wanna share some cake with me?

Mori: Yea.

McGonagall: MISA AMANE!!!

SH: What house…hmmm….BITCH.

Misa: :O!

SH: that's right I went there. Really though, that's your house now go jump off a cliff.

*!!!!*

Misa: *jumps off a cliff*

Light: Ah, finally…slilence.

_A/N: I refuse to give light the last word!!_

L: Why don't you look again Light?

Kyoya: *attacks Light*

Light: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

L: :3 I 3 cake

A/N: That failed I know…I just got super bored. So feel free to flame it. Watever. IRDK…I feel like I forgot someone…*Haruhi-HELLO??!!!!*…hmm? Does anyone else hear a cross-dressing suckish hero? Hmmm? Strange. Well, I got all the inportant people. XD


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Incase I haven't notified you of this before, my computer is quite homosexual, thought you should know. Also the original 2nd chapter to this had Soul Eater, so if you would like me to post that one also, PM me or leave it in a review. Thanks!

Loooooooooove,

Rejected One (of doom and stuff)

*HEM HEM*

So, there once was a little French boy named TAMAKI SUOH. Tama-chan had an epiphany one day of the truth. The truth that the real reason girls watch Ouran is because of the Hitachiin twins. Now, I could rant about this for some time but that would defeat this story's purpose. Well, the poor Frenchman got rather depressed and went into an emo-corner for a long, long, long, long time. There he had a horrific brain twisting change of character that caused him to go….to go….to go…to go…to go….OUT. OF. CHARACTER.

Shhh…Its okay fangirls. I'll filter it so its not horrible. I'll leave the rest up to your imagination. Really though, I dislike in-character Tamaki but, OOC Tama-chan is cree-…O_o We interrupt this fan fiction for an important announcement: I KNOW OOC TAMAKI. IN. REAL. LIFE. That is all. ^_^

Hunny: Takashi! I'm kinda scared for Tama-chan…

Mori: Yeah.

Hunny: *sigh* He's actin' all funny…he's…really…

Mori: Short.

Hunny: Nu-uh…hes…a pervert.

Tamaki: *chases Misa* HAHA. BOOBS.

Everyone: O/o

Mello: MATT. GRAB HIM. ITS TIME FOR THERAPY.

Matt: But we did that yesterday…

Mello: To &*#&$ing bad Matt!

Matt: You're yelling again, what did I tell you about yelling honey?

Mello: Sorry…T/T JUST GRAB THE OOC FRENCHIE.

Matt: Okay…*drags Tamaki out of Host Club with one hand while playing a video game with the other*

Meanwhile…

Light: *trips over cardboard box* ?

Kyoya: Oh hey Light…B)

Light: O_o Errmm…Hello. Why…why are you in that box.

Kyoya: The author was bored and moved me to Slavenclaw, its between Ravenclaw and Slytherin

Light: Alright…bye.

Kyoya: Wait. I still have your notebook…B)

Light: Misa has one. I'll use hers.

Kyoya: Awww :(

Light: GOODBYE.

Kyoya: I feel lonely…

Later…

L: Hey Kira?

Light: Yeah?

L: Gotcha!

Light: CRAP.

Dumbledore: I have to say, that was a very eventful day!

Snape: Yes it was sir.

Dumbledore: I just have one last question…

Snape: What is it headmaster?

Dumbledore: What happened to Tamaki?

Hahaha, and what an excellent question that is, Dumbledore! The world may never-

Mello: !&*!(#&ING TELL THEM.

Matt: Honey…

Mello: Please… _

*sigh* Sure Mello, Well in a nutshell: Tamaki was cured, Matt and Mello moved to Canada and Kira was forever locked away in jail. And by jail I mean L's pants.

THE END.

A/N: Dissapointed? I apologize if you are. Well R&R! ^^


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